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A Florida Genie
A man was walking along a Florida beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and out popped a genie.The genie said, “OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month, and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so [...]
Six Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life
THE DOCTOR because he says “Take your clothes off.”THE DENTIST because he says “Open wide.”THE HAIR DRESSER because he says “Do you want them teased or blown?”THE MILKMAN because he says “Do you want it in the back or in the front?”THE INTERIOR DECORATOR because he says “Once it’s in you’ll love it.”THE BANKER because [...]
picking up a woman in a laundromat
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine, will never be able to support you.
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin?
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?” “Well, Husband 1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great [...]
You might be a redneck if…car color
The primary color of your car is “Bond-Q.
You might be a redneck if…mama
Your mother does not remove the marlboro from her lips before telling the state patrolman to kiss her ass.
You might be a redneck if…sideburns
You grow your sideburns longer and fuller because it looks so good on your sister.
You might be a redneck if…cars
Less than half the cars you own run.
You might be a redneck if…prom
Your junior-senior prom had a day-care center.