his
What did George W. Bush get on his S.A.T.’s
Q. What did George W Bush get on his S.A.T.’s? A. Drool.
a thief and his lawyer
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.”Your honor,” he said, “I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.””Why ?” asked the judge. “He won your acquittal. [...]
A man and his Alligator
A man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, “Does this bar serve lawyers?””Of course we do,” replied the bartender.”Great,” said the man, “I’d like a beer… and give me a lawyer for my gator.
his mind
He has one of those mighty minds — mighty empty. He has a one-track mind, and the traffic on it is very light
His And Hers Road Trip
HERS: Pulls off at wrong exit. Opens window. Asks directions from a knowledgeable police officer. Arrives at destination presently. HIS: Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he’s right. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case. Finally rolls down window just to get [...]
A Man And His Money
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen. When I die, I want you to [...]
Farmer Joe and his Mule
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?” “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had [...]
What is his occupation?
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.””That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?”Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.””Thank you, Amie,” [...]
Can I take his place?
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. “So, what is it?” grumbled the governor. “Judge Garber has just died” said the attorney, “and I want to take his place.” The governor replied: “Well, [...]