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How To Satisfy…

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMANCaress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, humor, stimulate, stroke, console, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch,entertain,sacrifice for, charm, fascinate, attend, trust, grovel, defend, coax, brag about, understand, clothe, respect, entertain, kill for, commit, snuggle, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize, worship, [...]

Posted in O Zoke | Tagged how, satisfy, to

How Lawyers Do It

Lawyers do it with appeal.Lawyers do it confidentially.Lawyers do it on a trial basis.Lawyers do it until justice prevails.Lawyers do it as long as you can pay them.Lawyers do it unless it is prohibited by law.

Posted in O Zoke | Tagged do, how, it, lawyers

How to Get A Good Night Sleep

By the time Dave pulled into the small town every hotel room was taken. He finally pulled up to the very last hotel and went into the office. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere” he pleaded.” — Or just a bed – I don’t care where.” “Well, I do have a double room with [...]

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How to Argue the Price of a Screw

A well known, rich business man’s wife broke her hip. The business man got the best orthopedic surgeon in town to do the operation, which consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it.The operation went smoothly, and the doctor sent the business man a bill for $5,000 for [...]

Posted in O Zoke | Tagged a, argue, how, of, price, screw, the, to

How To Be Annoying (A Guide)

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.” Drum on every available surface. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. Staple papers in the middle of the page. Ask 800 operators for dates. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI [...]

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How Cold Is Cold?

60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one) 50 Miami residents turn on the heat 40 You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming 35 Italian cars don’t start 32 Water freezes 30 You plan your vacation to Australia 25 Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, [...]

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How to Know where a Driver is from

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone,brick on accelerator: California With gun in lap: L.A. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet [...]

Posted in O Zoke | Tagged a, driver, from, how, is, know, to, where

How To Drive Your Wife Crazy

Start asking her questions (don’t mistakenly do anything) about cooking, cleaning, and laundry. Say, “I think it’s time I learn to take care of myself. You know, just in case.” Volunteer to cook for her. Make sure it’s real greasy. Use every pot and pan in the house and be sure you spill and/or drop [...]

Posted in O Zoke | Tagged crazy, drive, how, to, wife, your

How does a blond turn on the light after sex

? She opens the car door.

Posted in O Zoke | Tagged a, after, blond, does, how, light, on, Sex, the, turn

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