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Six Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life
THE DOCTOR because he says “Take your clothes off.”THE DENTIST because he says “Open wide.”THE HAIR DRESSER because he says “Do you want them teased or blown?”THE MILKMAN because he says “Do you want it in the back or in the front?”THE INTERIOR DECORATOR because he says “Once it’s in you’ll love it.”THE BANKER because [...]
I haven’t spoken in months
I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months, I don’t like to interrupt her.
picking up a woman in a laundromat
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine, will never be able to support you.
Call In Sick…
Bob calls in to his job:”Hey, boss I’m not coming to work today. I’m really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I’m not coming into work.”The boss says:”You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to [...]
It’s Dark In Here
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?””Yes it is,” the [...]
You might be a redneck if… in bed
You’ve ever used lard in bed.
Still in the family
You might be a redneck if you’ve been married three timesand still have the same in-laws.
10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You [...]
The 10 Commandments in Ebonics
1. I be God. Don’ be dissin me. 2. Don’ be makin hood ornaments outa me or nothin in my crib. 3. Don’ be callin me for no reason – homey don’ play dat.4. Y’all betta be in church on Sundee. 5. Don’ dis ya mama…an if ya know who ya daddy is, don dis [...]