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Whatever you want it to be
Q. What do you call the temperature between two west virginians?A. Relative Humidity
How To Satisfy…
HOW TO SATISFY A WOMANCaress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, humor, stimulate, stroke, console, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch,entertain,sacrifice for, charm, fascinate, attend, trust, grovel, defend, coax, brag about, understand, clothe, respect, entertain, kill for, commit, snuggle, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize, worship, [...]
NCAA ballers to change a lightbulb?
How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.
football fan to rescue
Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck.A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the [...]
I want to become a politician
I want to become a politician when I grow up so I’ve made a list of skills I want to aquire, butI’ve only come up with one: Lying.
50 Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden…
50 Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden… Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You’re Invited To A Dinner Party At His Secret Afghan Lair, by Alan MeissPoint out the lice in his beard to make him feel self-conscious. Pause for a moment, listen carefully, and say, “Doesn’t that sound a lot like a [...]
seconds to live
Man walks into the Doctors office. “I have the results of your test and I’m afraid your going to die” Says the Doctor. The Man asks “How long do I have to live?” “Ten”, replies the Doctor. “What the hell does that mean”, the Man asks. “Ten Years, Ten Months, Ten weeks, What?” The Doctor [...]
60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy
1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it’s cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don’t we just cuddle? 5. You know they have surgery to fix that. 6. It’s more fun to look at. 7. Make it dance. 8. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that. 9. Can I paint [...]
How to Get A Good Night Sleep
By the time Dave pulled into the small town every hotel room was taken. He finally pulled up to the very last hotel and went into the office. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere” he pleaded.” — Or just a bed – I don’t care where.” “Well, I do have a double room with [...]